
Just when Snoop Dogg thought he was out, they pulled him right back in.
There was a time when all that Snoop Dogg did was make records and music videos, occasionally guest-star in a television series or a movie, and coach his youth football team. He had the good life - but that was before the Mafia Wars mafia of Las Vegas got hold of him. The evil Mafia Wars mafia stole Snoop’s career from him and made him just another tool for evil. They made him do what the Don ordered - and since the Don is evil incarnate, many of those orders included unspeakable atrocities. Ever seen Soul Plane? Then you know the tip of the iceberg of harm that the Mafia Wars mafia has brought down on Snoop Dogg.
At one point there was hope that Snoop Dogg would rebound, that he would be able to find a way back to the picket-fence life that every other superstar rapper enjoys in America. But every time he thought he was out, the Mafia Wars mafia pulled him right back in. After some time, Snoop Dogg began to revel in his duties for the them, even working his way up to the point where he was doing personal assignments directly for the Don. And the Don, well, he reveled in Snoop Dogg's ruthless efficiency and solid Protestant work ethic. One day, the Don told Snoop Dogg that if he could do one job particularly well, he’d become his right-hand man for life.
“What is the job, Don?” asked Snoop Dogg.
“Blow up a four-ton armored truck,” said the Don. “In the middle of the desert outside Las Vegas.”
"Will there be rival gang members inside it?" asked Snoop Dogg.
"No," replied the Don.
"Will I be pulling off a multimillion-dollar heist? Will I blow up the armored car to destroy evidence of my crime?" asked Snoop Dogg.
"No," replied the Don.
“Then why would I blow up an armored car in the middle of the desert, Don?”
“I told you never to question my orders!” the Don shouted, pounding a fist into his desk. Snoop Dogg flinched, ever so slightly, but the Don ignored this and calmed his breathing before continuing. “But because you have served me so well, Snoop Dogg...because I like you…I will tell you why. I want to celebrate the 10,000,000th visitor to Mafia Wars: Las Vegas, and let's face it, nothing says ‘MAFIA4LYFE’ quite like an armored car being ‘sploded by a rapper.”
“Brilliant in its simplicity, Don,” said Snoop Dogg. “Maybe I could ‘splode this armored car on Thursday, August 19. Maybe at, say, 6 p.m. PT? And maybe we could even stream it live on the Mafia Wars website so people all over could watch the 'splosion.”
“Snoop Dogg, my son,” said the Don, clasping his hands to Snoop Dogg's face and pulling him near, “you will go far in this life. You will go far.”